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Dating Apps Turn Search For Love Into A Video Game, And A Lot Of People Lose – CBSN Originals Documentary

By on November 7, 2019 0

Watch the RCCS originals documentary, “Speaking Frankly: Dating Apps,” in the video player above.


When Alexandra Tweten moved from Minnesota to Los Angeles, dating apps offered a way to find love in a city where she didn’t know anyone. “It was exciting meeting different people and sometimes you could meet people you would never meet in real life. Just different types of people.”

But she quickly learned that exposure to a much larger pool of people hiding behind their sometimes fake profiles had significant drawbacks. “The first people I paired up with on Tinder, I ended up in a situation where they wanted to Skype with me,” she recalls, “and at least three of those guys started masturbating in front of me. … When I had it ‘I didn’t really give them the OK. “

Many users reported experiencing harassment and bad behavior on dating apps, and they may end up feeling more disconnected and lonely than they used to be when trying to find love the traditional way. Madeleine Fugère, Ph.D., a relationship expert and professor of social psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University, says the endless cycle of research – and research failure – of significant correspondence on dating apps happens by design.

“If you were to hook up with the first person you met on a dating app and meet that person and fall in love, they wouldn’t have any business, right?” Said Fugere. “So sometimes it’s in their best interests to keep you interested in seeing dating as a game and an ongoing game.”


Are Dating Apps Really Data Apps?

10:57

With “gambling” comes an increasing number of negative experiences reported by users. Sexual harassment, ghosting, cat fishing (i.e. luring people with a fake character online) and meaningless one night stands seem to be rampant on these platforms. According to Fugère, the anonymity of a digital profile and the lack of accountability embolden bad behavior.

“[The anonymity] in a way makes us lose the sense of self. And so we end up engaging in behaviors that we wouldn’t normally do, which can range from an obnoxious comment to sending an obscene photo, to establishing a bond with someone and then to disappearance, “she said.

These issues don’t seem to deter people from trying. Americans seek – and find – love online now more than ever: a study found about 65% of same-sex couples and 39% of heterosexual couples who entered into a relationship in 2017 met online. Dating apps have tens of millions of users and the global online dating market could be worth it. $ 12 billion now until 2020.

Yet even with these tools at hand, the loneliness has reached “epidemic levels,” according to one. recent poll by the health services company Cigna. He found that 46% of American adults report feeling lonely or sometimes or always, and Gen Z – young adults between the ages of 18 and 22 – were the most lonely of them all.


How Are Dating Apps Changing Relationships?

11:08

If the treatment online dating Since a video game causes problems, some experts say finding a solution will require cultural changes, not just technological changes.

“I think one way people can theoretically tackle the problem associated with gamification is to understand what they’re doing,” said Jess Carbino, Ph.D., former inside sociologist at Tinder and Bumble. “If people feel like they’re slipping mindlessly, they need to change their behavior. I don’t think apps by nature make people less attentive.”

She points out that despite the downsides, many app users end up finding a match. A study published in 2013 which included more than 19,000 people who married between 2005 and 2012 found that more than a third of these marriages started online, and the divorce rate for people who met online was 25 % lower than those who met offline. Carbino says this is why people continue to use them and mentions his own personal success.

“The way these apps have developed is through social learning. People have had a positive experience about them and then they say to their friends, “Oh, I met my boyfriend on Tinder” or “I met my husband on Tinder. “And I met Joel on Tinder and we got married.”


Pushing back the culture of dating apps

08:06

Fugère agrees that there are “many positive consequences” to dating apps, as well as negative consequences. “I’ve always believed, as a relationship expert, that when you stop playing games, that’s when you have the real opportunity to find love.”

Match Group, owner of five of the top 10 most used dating apps in the United States, according to industry analysis firm App Annie, has not provided an official statement. But, in response to the claim that they are trying to keep users hooked to their platforms, a representative told CBS News, “People leave platforms when they have good real-life experiences. , so the best marketing to get others to use apps is to hear about other people’s positive experiences. ”Another rep said,“ The end goal is to keep people away from the product ”.


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