How Men Ruin Things By Refusing To Take “No” For An Answer
A man walks up to you, buys you a drink, and asks you out. When you say you’re not interested, the guy might try to flirt with you to convince you that going on a date won’t change anything. As you continue to reject his advances, there is a chance that his attitude will change from good to bad to worse. This is because Indian men don’t know how to back down and simply cannot accept rejection in the right spirit.
In our society, the twisted understanding of consent among men has greatly affected women’s love lives. If a woman says no, men assume yes and attribute the initial rejection to either shyness or a female tendency to play “hard to get.” Or when women indirectly say no using words like maybe, later, or not ready for this, men try to trick women into believing that their “maybe” is actually a “yes.”
Why do Indian men have such a hard time understanding and respecting a woman’s consent? Why do they always tend to twist women’s words and force a “yes” out of them? Don’t men realize that aggression doesn’t flatter women in the dating game? That today’s women want men who will let them make their own decisions and not those who will impose their will on them?
Women’s love life and men’s rights ruin everything
Most of the time, to avoid unwanted dates, women are forced to reveal their relationship status or lie about a fake boyfriend. This is because men see women as territory – if they are “owned” by another man, they will back off.. In fact, there’s also the bro-code angle where every man tends to respect another man’s partner, whether they know each other or not. But if the woman is not in a relationship with another man, she automatically becomes available to everyone and everything.
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On the other hand, when a woman rejects a man even though she is single, he tends to take it as an insult. He thinks the woman doesn’t think he’s worthy. Very few men step back at this point with their heads held high. Others continue to either scold the woman, shame her, or harass her, until she changes her mind.
Men need to start understanding that dating is not ego fertilizer. Having sex with women isn’t just a way to prove your machismo. There is more to sex and love than that. Perhaps the fault lies with our society, which never teaches boys to take no for an answer. It is only when the sense of entitlement is taken away from the boy as he grows into a man that he will truly learn to see courtship, love and sex and the mutual acts that require consent and will of both parties involved.
The opinions expressed are those of the author.