Jana Hocking: The best ways to improve your love life in 2022
Jana Hocking has learned a lot about dating in 2021. Photo / Instagram
Oh, what a year it’s been on the dating side! I still remember celebrating New Years Eve last year and the night theme seemed to send the sh * t-show of 2020.
We didn’t know that in 2021 we would actually be spending MORE time locked out and trying to make our way through Skype dates and walk dates. Let’s say everything together now… SNORE! I don’t care if you are Brad Pitt – I refuse to start any form of dating / Skype over again!
Luckily I managed to have some fun time with a bubble buddy, but damn it, what a time.
A real blessing this year has been my Kinda Sorta Dating podcast. I was fortunate to have the most amazing guests who were so open and honest about their own love life journeys that I honestly found myself using all of their wisdom.
When I look at my dating mindset at the start of the year, compared to the end of the year, I am very grateful for these podcast chats as they have given me the tools to date more. intelligence, wisdom and also taught me to accept being vulnerable. and honest. Game changer.
I found myself having a very honest conversation with a guy who had been screwing me up for a few years, and I also learned to take responsibility for letting myself be treated like that, and if I’m honest, even actively to chase him away.
I learned to be open to dating someone who was not what I had considered “my type” and I learned to stop using alcohol as a tool to resolve anxiety. dating.
So, in the spirit of giving, I’ve rounded up three of my favorite dating and relationship tips with a few of my brilliant guests this year:
1. Entrepreneur Samantha Wills
On how to get up when you’ve just had your heart broken but you have to go to work and continue living:
“The world doesn’t stop when we’re traumatized, so we have to find a way to fall apart when we need it, but somehow keep showing up a certain way.
“When you are at this point, you think the pain is going to last forever. You think it has no end date, especially when you are in a fetal position on the floor, but you have to look back. .time you were in this similar situation and say to yourself, “It’s going to be okay, I promise you it’s not going to last forever.”
“All you can do is take it hour by hour. toilet and cry well. Just do what you can do.
“Also know that there are people around you who want to help you. You think you have to keep your heartbroken inside, but you don’t. There are people around you who can help you. help, even if it’s just an ear to listen. Know that will pass. “
2. Behavioral scientist Logan Ury
How to stand out from the crowd on dating apps:
“Be specific, and it’s the same in comedy – there’s this idea in comedy that the more specific you can do, the funnier it is. And sometimes people’s profiles say things that are kind of generic like, “I love to cook, travel and hang out with my family” and it’s like yeah man, who doesn’t! It’s so general.
“Go into the details. What is your dream vacation, what meal do you cook with your family every Sunday? know this person, or I’m curious “.
“Every photo or every caption is an invitation to spark a conversation. You’re much more likely to spark a conversation by saying something eccentric like, ‘My biggest goal in life is to find someone to go out with. The Block “.
“Right away you’ve got some guys slipping into your DMs -“ I wanna go to The Block too! “Or something similar. Find photos and captions that will spark a conversation.”
3. Dating Coach Mel Schilling
How to find a long-term partner:
“Clearly state your goals – what do you want from dating. Maybe you just want casual sex and a lot of good sex. Then go into the swipe apps and do it.
“But if you’re in a position right now where you’re thinking, ‘I’m actually really ready for a serious relationship and I’m going to jump in with both feet,’ then you need a different strategy.
“The key is to make sure that the tactics you use match the goal you are working towards. So stop making yourself available to the people you know are only looking for a good time. You get a shot of dopamine. whenever you see a message from these people and it can be confusing, so eliminate the temptation if that is not what you want in the long run.
“Be clear with what you want and say it from the start. It eliminates wasted time and puts you on the path to finding someone who is looking for a real relationship as well.”
Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of boyfriends | @jana_hocking