Passions: Dating Apps Decoded – Hindustan Times
“I walked past 20-25 people before I found my fiancé”
By Sherry Parashar
Coming from a family of loving marriages including my parents, I wanted a rock solid relationship. So when my college buddy wasn’t ready to commit, I tried to meet other people IRL.
When nothing clicked, I joined Tinder in January 2020. My friends warned me that the apps were only for dating, but I wanted to give it a try. Plus, given the pandemic, there was a good chance the perfect guy was stuck at home, like me.
I met three guys and walked past 20-25 people, before meeting Varun, now my fiancé.
About 60% of people I met on the app wanted to be in a “situation”, where they wanted to see where the relationship would take them, but not be exclusive. But there was also that 25% who wanted something serious. Only 15% were looking for meetings.
We started dating on May 8, 2020 and first met in August. While Varun’s friends were cool with us, my friends asked me to be “more careful”, saying things like “how can you be so sure you’re the only girl in his life if he is on a dating app? Relatives remain critical, but my immediate family is doing well.
The main problem I faced was catfishing. But I also met people who remain friends. An old Tinder match even helped me land my current job!
If you want to use dating apps, be honest about what you want and don’t settle for less.
Sherry Parashar, 24, NIFT graduate and creative director, is set to wed in May 2022.
“I had 20 connections and no relationships through apps”
By Ajay Kapoor
I’ve been on dating apps for six to seven years, through Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, OkayCupid, and Happn. I thought it was a great way to meet women and first joined for dating.
The main purpose of these apps is to find a date. They expand your dating pool, which was previously confined to the gym, office, etc. These apps are not meant to find someone long term. Honestly, dating apps are the only way to look for a hookup in a non-scary way. Over 60% of users of these apps are looking for a bounce. Although dating can also lead to relationships.
It’s much easier to download an app than to go to a bar and try to meet someone. Women generally fear being approached in a bar. So Gen Z and Millennials only have dating apps to meet people. That, or slipping into DMs.
On these apps, you must embrace the idea that the relationship is not permanent, but a conduit that leads to stable ground. Either you two love each other and want to work on something long term, or it’s an affair. I had about 20 connections and no relationship through apps.
Being on dating apps should be a disciplined exercise. You need to give people time to interact. But if someone doesn’t respond on your third try, don’t follow up.
If you want to meet him, make a video call with him first. After searching them on Google and stalking them on social networks, of course.
Ajay Kapoor, 33, is a health care strategist consultant and entrepreneur.
From HT Brunch, April 23, 2022
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