Should a person’s credit score be a deal breaker when dating?
According to studies, money is the top source of discord in love relationships. According to a SunTrust bank survey, 35 percent of couples argue over money the most, and 47 percent of respondents say their partners and they have different saving and spending habits.
So, how bad is bad credit when it comes to dating deal breakers? Is it even worth dating someone who has a lot of debt if you’re fiscally disciplined to a fault? On the other hand, is having bad credit enough to condemn you to a life of singledom?
We spoke with Moses Barnes, co-founder of Sweetcash, a money-management app for couples, to learn how the dreaded credit debate can harm (or assist!) romantic relationships.
What can you do to persuade your partner to work on their credit?
If you’re dating someone who has money troubles, it’s tempting to lecture them every time the subject comes up. But that’s ineffective, and it’s unlikely to benefit either of you in the long run.
When asked how to help a partner rebuild their credit, Barnes advised, “Start with empathy.”
“It’s possible that your partner is ashamed or sensitive about their poor credit score. So, before you offer counsel, please pay attention to your partner and attempt to understand their perspective on finance.
Then, if your partner is open to recommendations, help them locate resources to better understand their credit score by reminding them that a credit score isn’t permanent.
What Happens to Your Credit Score After Bankruptcy?
In the event of bankruptcy you will notice that your credit score could sink. Be sure to take a close look at your credit rating prior to filing for bankruptcy. A bankruptcy filing can have a profound effect on credit health. The exact consequences will differ. According to the highest scoring model FICO bankruptcy filing can result in a good credit score of 700 or more soaring by at most 200 points. In the event that your credit score falls lower, say around 680, you could be able to lose between 130 to 150 points.
However, those who have excellent to outstanding credit scores will suffer the biggest impact of Minnesota bankruptcy about when your credit score is poor or fair–below 670–you might not experience significant points drops. However, the end result is still a poor credit score. There isn’t much of a chance to drop to that low rating.
When should you bring up the subject of credit with your partner?
Everything is going well in the early stages of your new relationship. You agree on everything—favorite movies, foods, and even a mutual love of pygmy elephants! But there’s one subject you don’t dare to look into: credit and money. What do you do first? And when is it appropriate to do so?
When a relationship becomes serious, you should probably start talking about money. What that means for each couple is different. Still, suppose you’ve begun to include them in your future daydreams or had serious discussions about becoming exclusive, moving in together, or even getting married. In that case, there’s no better time than now.
“If you’re having problems opening the conversation,” Barnes suggests, “consider talking about your financial goals first.” “All I’d do is focus on starting a conversation about money.”
You’ll automatically get into conversations about spending patterns, debt, and credit once you start talking about these things daily.”
It’s tough to determine whether it’s okay to bring up money because it’s taboo. Barnes suggests setting aside 15 to 30-minute “money dates” a few times a month where you and your partner may talk about money in a private setting.
Every couple’s chat will be different, so go into it with no preconceived notions on either side.
If you want to talk about money or credit with your partner, go in with an open mind and listen to what they have to say. If you’ve made terrible financial decisions in the past, Barnes advises that you show your partner that you’re attempting to better your circumstances.
“Do some research to figure out why your credit is bad, and then figure out how to fix it,” he advised. Showing that you’re serious about your credit will go a long way with your partner.”
Your credit and financial habits differ from your partner’s. So, what’s next?
You discussed it, and it turns out that one of you is far more fiscally responsible than the other.
Does this imply that your relationship has come to an end? Certainly not.
“I’ve talked to a lot of couples who have very different approaches to money,” Barnes said.
“However, the most significant aspect is that these couples have devised a system for managing money together that meets their requirements. A joint account isn’t enough for many couples.
According to the 2017 TD Love and Money Survey, only 34% of Millennial couples truly integrate their finances.”
The goal, according to Barnes, is to develop a money-management strategy that “balances transparency with independence, teamwork with individual accountability” within your relationship.
Many couples with opposing views on money, for example, utilize a “allowance” system in which they set up a joint account for common expenses like rent and groceries and agree on a monthly amount each person is permitted to spend without consulting the other.
While devising a system like this can be beneficial to certain couples, not everyone will have the patience or motivation to overcome financial obstacles in a relationship, which is fine. If you know you don’t have the patience to stick by someone through some severe financial ups and downs, the relationship may not be worth continuing.
There’s nothing wrong with desiring a companion who shares your financial goals and aspirations. Let’s say your spouse is continuously taking out questionable loans or even borrowing money from you to make ends meet; if you can’t picture yourself supporting them—emotionally or financially—while they work on their credit, you shouldn’t force the relationship.
When you get married, does your credit merge?
Quick answer? No. Long answer? Your spouse’s bad credit CAN have a detrimental impact on your life. However, your credit score is yours and yours alone, whether you’re married or not.
If you’re considering going the next step, make sure you and your partner are on the same page regarding money management or that you’ve devised a system to compensate for any big disparities in your approaches to money.
Is there such a thing as being too supportive?
It’s always a good idea to support your partner financially, but when it comes to helping them improve their credit, it’s also crucial to look out for yourself. If your spouse approaches you and wants you to cosign on a personal loan or add them to one of your current credit card accounts, you should think about how far you’re willing to go to aid them.
For example, would you be willing to use your automobile to arrange a title loan for them?
Most likely not. If your partner has a history of making poor financial decisions or using credit irresponsibly, you should consider cosigning a loan or credit card with them twice. No matter how much you love them, linking your good credit to the credit of someone who hasn’t been very responsible in the past may not be a good idea. Instead, collaborate with them to identify strategies for them to enhance their credit on their own, without jeopardizing your own.
According to Barnes, it depends on the situation. “Bad credit shouldn’t be an absolute deal breaker in my opinion,” Barnes added. “However, if you’re thinking of dating someone with negative credit, you should do so with your eyes wide open.”
According to Barnes, people with higher credit scores are more likely to create and maintain long-term relationships, while couples with similar credit scores are more likely to stay together in the long run.
“If you’re in a relationship with someone who has negative credit, you should be aware that it could pose a problem in your relationship, and you should take proactive steps to fix it as soon as possible.”