The best dating apps for divorced men
Full Disclosure: I am not now and have never been a divorced male. This is largely because, despite the emotional identification of a 44-year-old divorcee, I am a single woman in my twenties. But even though I might not know much about being a divorced man, I happen to know a thing or two about dating one. As someone who has dated my share of divorcees, I know the anxieties and reservations you can have when stepping into the dating space – the online dating space in particular.
As a newly divorced man in 2021, dating apps might naturally be one of the first places to turn when it comes time to start dating again. Depending on your age and how long you’ve been out of the game, however, a post-divorce foray into online dating could well mark your first. already experience with dating apps. Even if you’re not a dating app virgin – yes, Tinder and its ilk have been around long enough that the millennial marriages that started with a bang in the early 2010s are now falling apart – you may find that The ever-changing dating apps landscape has changed significantly since your last forehand. Quick update: Tinder is (practically) for teens now, and new dating apps aimed at Gen Z are trying to model themselves on TikTok. Naturally, a TikTok-inspired Gen Z virtual playground probably isn’t exactly the kind of environment you want to start the next chapter of your adult dating life in as a grown man, especially one who recently divorced.
“After a divorce, it can be difficult to find someone who shares life goals, core values and who is also in the same ‘season of life’ as you,” explains White Jade, dating coach, matchmaker and founder of Dating after divorce. Fortunately, the right dating apps – used in the right way – can help alleviate these difficulties and allay any worries you might have about re-entering the dating market after a marriage breakdown. Below, Bianca shares her top picks for the best post-divorce dating apps, along with expert advice on getting back to the online dating game (or getting into it for the first time) as a divorcee.
For the uninitiated, Bumble is one of Tinder’s oldest and most successful successors, and differentiates itself from the myriad of other sweep-based dating apps that have quickly flooded the market with its iconic template for women. On Bumble, women must take the first step and message their matches within 24 hours, or the match will expire.
While the female-founded app was probably designed with the best interests of women in mind – sparing them an endless deluge of messages from the many scary guys that roam the internet, this model also has significant benefits for women. male users. While you are sitting there waiting for a woman to send a message you might not seem ideal, especially for an old school guy who likes to take the first step, it could actually save you a lot of time and Energy. Frankly, the odds are against men on dating apps, and it’s not uncommon on other apps for frustrated men to resort to swiping right and throwing countless unreturned messages into the void. On Bumble, men can sit (and / or go about their usual business) while women come to them, saving them time that might have been wasted messaging women who just aren’t interested. So, if you’re a grown man with a busy life who doesn’t like the idea of spending countless hours of that life sweeping and texting into oblivion, Bumble might be worth it.
Owned by the same parent company as Tinder, Hinge has gained popularity in recent years as a more mature platform for somewhat more serious daters. Billed as “the app designed to be deleted,” Hinge tried to escape Tinder’s image of Tinder’s “hookup app” by selling itself as an openly relationship platform. In my opinion, however, Hinge has become more popular as a mainstream, catch-all dating app for people who usually have their shit together (at least compared to Tinder users) but aren’t necessarily looking for anything. it would be. specific. Are some or even many Hinge users looking for connections? Absoutely. But if you are a recently divorced man who, like many recently divorced men, is not ready to embark on another serious relationship, there are a lot of people on Hinge who are looking for more relaxed, dating styles. alternatives or at least seek to take it. slow. Hinge is pretty much the mainstream “it” app right now, so whatever you’re looking for, you can probably find it there.
Any advice though? Whatever you are looking for, be honest about it. With the lingering stigma surrounding divorce being what it is, divorced men may worry about how their marital status will affect their performance on dating apps, while new app users may feel pressured to stop. conform to what they think other people on the app are looking for. “My advice is to be honest and transparent when meeting,” says Bianca. “If you don’t know exactly what you are looking for or are looking for something casual, say so! It is not your job to be what others want. You are here to find this you want to.
Coffee meets bagel
Coffee Meets Bagel considers itself the “original anti-swipe app” and was one of Tinder’s first successors to differentiate itself from the competition by abandoning swipe. In a post-Tinder era of increasing sliding fatigue, this model has become more popular, especially among older, busier users who simply don’t have the time and energy to waste on endless sliding. Instead of sweeping, Coffee Meets Bagel sends you a limited number of algorithmically curated matches each day at noon. Either you like them or you don’t like them and then you go back to your usual life instead of getting swept up in a sweeping afternoon.
The wrong side? You will likely end up with a lot less matches than traditional sweep-based dating apps. But trust me, a hardened veteran of dating apps, the novelty and validation of accumulating an army of virtually anonymous matches that you have little or no intention of interacting with fades pretty quickly. On a platform like Coffee Meets Bagel, you’ll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that all the matches you make are with people who have probably at least taken the time to read your profile.
Of course, you can find someone on just about any dating app – yes, even among Tinder’s TikTok scammers and teens, although Bianca strongly advises against it: “I don’t recommend Tinder. Tinder is the most used dating app in the world, but there are so many fake profiles and people looking to rip people off on the app. Sticking to these more mature choices – even if you’re a relatively young divorcee – will likely save you a lot of time, energy, and frustration, which seems ideal for someone who’s recently gone through a likely long time. and exhausting. , frustrating divorce. After all, dating is meant to be amusing, which is ultimately the most important thing to keep in mind as a new bachelor returning to the game.
“Dating apps can be like a second job,” says Bianca. “Instead of seeing dating as something you have to do, see it as a chance to meet new people that you would never have met otherwise. Changing your perspective on dating can transform it from an experience that feels like an interview to a fun time, ”which is exactly what you should be looking for.
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