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Why Finding Your ‘Soul Mate’ Could Ruin Your Love Life

By on August 2, 2022 0


Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu and Davide Sanclimenti were named the winning couple of the island of love 2022, after a tumultuous journey on the show.

The Turkish actress from Essex, 27, and Italian business owner, also 27, have won viewers over with their fiery but passionate relationship and have become fan favourites, even being dubbed ‘Mom and Dad” by many Twitter users.

As they declared their love for each other in the traditional end-of-season vows, Cülcüloğlu said: “It’s been a hell of a journey for us. They say Rome wasn’t built in one day and neither do we. Love being together. Turkish Delight and Italian Stallion, perfect for each other. You are my soul mate.”

Beautiful feelings, sure, but is finding your “soul mate” really a good thing in the search for love? Many relationship experts say no – and here’s why….

it creates too much pressure

Jessica Alderson, co-founder and relationship expert at So Syncd, says the idea of ​​”soul mates” can be toxic.

“You can end up putting too much pressure on the relationship and creating unrealistic expectations,” she says. “It’s normal for couples to disagree and need to work on things. The concept of soul mates may imply that your relationship needs to be perfect and harmonious at all times, but that’s just not realistic. “

Instead of pushing to find someone who immediately feels like “the right one,” you might find more happiness by giving potential relationships the energy to grow and develop.

You can lower your standards for the wrong person

Problems arise if you think you’ve found your “soul mate” and place her on a beanbag. It can blind you to red flags or ignore problems that arise and need to be fixed.

“You can end up focusing too much on your ‘soul mate,’ which can cause you to lower your standards,” says Alderson. “It’s not healthy to think that one person is your only path to true love, because if you’re in that mindset, you’re much more likely to have trouble setting healthy boundaries. which means you may end up accepting behaviors that make you unhappy.”

It can be very exhausting

If all you want is to find your “other half”, you may be missing out on some other pretty amazing aspects of life.

Alderson agrees: “If you’re determined to find your ‘soul mate,’ you may miss out on other opportunities in life, whether it’s spending time with friends, working on your passions or dating other people. people who might be more compatible.As with everything, there is a healthy balance to be found.

“It’s completely natural to want to feel a romantic connection, but you shouldn’t obsess over finding the ‘perfect’ person. If you dwell on that too much, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

“It’s best to approach dating with the idea of ​​wanting to have fun and get to know the other person. If you’re too focused on a specific outcome, you’ll find it hard to relax, and as a result , you will find it harder to make deep connections.”

You miss a whole world of variety

There’s a lot of merit in exploring the dating pool and meeting different kinds of people – just to see where it can take us.

“We can learn a lot from dating lots of different types of people. It can help us understand our own preferences and what we’re looking for in a partner,” Alderson says. “It’s common for people to think they’re looking for certain traits when it comes to dating, but they usually find that not all of them are as important as they thought.

“There are people who thought they could never date someone with certain characteristics but, after getting to know them, they discover that they are not as important as they thought.”

Instead, focus on the fun of dating, she advises.

“Aim to have fun rather than find your soul mate. It’s a win-win situation. When you go into a date with the mindset of wanting to have fun, not only will you have more enjoyable experiences , but you’ll also be more attractive to others.”

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